
Getting Past Survivor
Because surviving was never meant to be the whole story
Sometimes becoming a survivor comes after big, obvious traumas.
Other times it’s the seemingly smaller experiences — being dismissed, embarrassed, bullied, or unheard — the kinds of moments that quietly wire our brains to live in survival mode.
That’s why I call this space Getting Past “Survivor.” It’s about living beyond those survival defaults — fight, flight, freeze, or fawn — and into the life you choose. A lifelong journey of letting go, rewiring the mind, and becoming someone you can finally rely on to treat you well.
Here you’ll find:
The Hidden Wounds — reflections on bullying, micro-traumas, parenting patterns, and the unspoken ways we learn to survive
The Brain & the Unconscious Mind — why it does what it does, how it protects us, and how we can rewire it
Tools for Change — practical strategies, NLP and hypnosis insights, and simple ways to move from survival to choice
Living & Healing Out Loud — personal stories of grief, growth, and the messy, beautiful process of becoming
If you feel like there’s something beyond the survival mode you’ve grown uncomfortably comfortable with — even if you can’t name it yet — you’re right. And you don’t have to figure it out alone.
💙 Helen
To read more about my story: The Reason for Getting Past Survivor
I Knew What Love Was
In this follow-up blog, I dive deeper into the conflicting messages I received about love and intimacy, and how they shaped my beliefs. Growing up, I witnessed the powerful bond my parents shared through their 63-year marriage, but at the same time, I endured a childhood of sexual abuse, which distorted my sense of self-worth.
From Sexual Healing to True Connection
For years, I believed that my worth was tied to fulfilling others' needs. Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” echoed my experience of being used and discarded. But healing came when I opened up to real love—one built on genuine connection, not just physical needs. True intimacy is about mutual respect and deep emotional bonds.