The Battle Between Knowing and Feeling

Healing can take you far—but sometimes, it still feels like something’s off.

You’ve done the work.

You’ve gained insight.

You’ve grown.

And yet... a part of you still reacts like nothing’s changed.

You know you’re safe now.

You know the relationship is over.

You know you’ve grown.

You know.

But why doesn't it feel that way?

But why doesn’t it feel that way?

Why does your body still tense up?

Why do you still flinch at certain words?

Why does your chest tighten even though nothing is actually wrong?

This is one of the most frustrating parts of healing:

*That stubborn, silent battle between what you *know and what you *feel.**

And it’s not because you’re doing something wrong—it’s because you’re still wired for the version of life that required protection.

You’re not broken.

There really isn't anything "wrong" with you.

You’re simply patterned.

Most people I work with have already done a lot of healing.

They’ve read the books.

Sat in therapy.

Processed the past.

They get it—mentally.

But you can understand something logically, and your feelings, reactions, or habits still haven’t caught up with that understanding.

The unconscious mind doesn’t take orders from logic.

It doesn’t change just because you understand what happened or can explain why you feel the way you do.

It learns by repetition.

Emotion.

Association.

That’s because the part of your brain responsible for safety and survival—the amygdala—doesn’t deal in logic.

It reacts to emotion and experience.

It stores danger signals, even if they no longer apply.

Then there’s the hippocampus, which helps with memory—but not in tidy, organized files.

It links emotions to situations, even when the memory is fuzzy.

And the prefrontal cortex—the logical, reasonable part that knows better—doesn’t always win the argument.

Especially not when fear is in the driver’s seat.

So even if your mind says, “I’m fine,” your body might still say, “Prove it.”

And if it’s been trained—over and over again—to interpret calm as a threat, love as unsafe, or success as something that might cost you…

no amount of rational thinking will override that pattern.

Not for long.

This isn’t about rehashing the past.

It’s about retraining the present.

We don’t need to dig through every memory to find relief.

We need to help the unconscious mind relearn what safety feels like.

What power feels like.

What it’s like to live without holding your breath, waiting for the next hit.

Let me share a story with you about someone I worked with—we’ll call her “Maria” (shared with permission).

She came to me frustrated.

“I’ve done the work,” she said.

“Therapy. Journaling. Inner child stuff. I *know my ex was emotionally abusive. I know I don’t want someone like him again. So why does my heart race when I don’t get a text back from someone I’m just getting to know? Why do I feel afraid, like I did something wrong, even when nothing happened?”*

Logically, she had clarity.

Emotionally, her nervous system was still stuck in a pattern that said:

“Love = anxiety. Connection = risk. Stay hyperaware. Don’t mess it up.”

Her body was still living in that relationship, even though her mind had moved on.

That’s what patterns do.

They don’t update just because you know better.

So we worked on helping her brain learn something new— not by rehashing the story or forcing a mindset shift, but by guiding her unconscious mind to release the pattern it thought was keeping her safe.

It wasn’t about more talking or journaling.

It was a change process that connects directly to the part of the brain running the show behind the scenes— the part that stores automatic reactions, old fears, and outdated beliefs about how to survive.

And once that old pattern was cleared, we gave her brain new instructions—clear, calm, and safe.

Everything began to shift.

Not because she talked herself into feeling better, but because her system no longer needed to react as if the past was still happening.

Ready for that shift?

If you’re tired of knowing better but still feeling stuck, I want you to know this:

There’s nothing wrong with you.

Your mind just hasn’t caught up with who you’ve become.

And once it does?

That inner battle loses its grip.

And if that’s where you are—stuck in the space between understanding and ease—you don’t have to stay there.

If this resonates and you’re ready for your mind and body to finally be on the same page—reach out.

Let’s explore how we can retrain those old patterns and make space for who you are now.

Click below to book your free strategy call — we’ll look at what’s keeping you stuck and start retraining the patterns that no longer serve you.