Why Affirmations Don’t Work—Until You Do This
Recently, I shared something I teach almost every client: Speak your negative experiences in past tense.
Because when your brain hears, “I’m stuck,” it listens.
But when it hears, “I was stuck,” it starts letting go.
If you missed that post, you can read it here:
👉 Say It Like It’s Over
You might be thinking…
“Wait… if I’m supposed to speak about the negative in past tense—then shouldn’t I speak positive affirmations in the present or future?”
And yes, you’re absolutely right. That’s exactly the goal.
But here’s the catch: Just because you say a positive affirmation in the present tense doesn’t mean your unconscious mind believes it.
That’s where things get sticky.
You can repeat:
“I am worthy.”
“I am successful.”
“I am safe.”
But if your unconscious mind is still running on years of:
“You’re not good enough.”
“You always mess it up.”
“No one really wants you…”
…those affirmations won’t stick.
Not because they’re wrong. But because they haven’t been experienced.
Your brain has learned to accept past pain as present truth. So when you try to speak future hope as if it’s already real, there’s friction.
And your brain resists—not because you’re doing something wrong, but because it doesn’t yet recognize the new pattern as true or safe.
That’s what I explored in my original blog on affirmations — why they don’t work for everyone, and what to do instead:
👉 Read the original blog here
So what do we do instead?
We do exactly what I talked about in the last post:
✅ Move the negative into the past
and
✅ Create space for the positive to become believable.
That means:
🔄 Speak what you don’t want like it’s already over,
and
🚀 Speak what you do want as if it’s on its way—because that helps your brain prepare for it.
But there’s one more step:
You have to make it real for your unconscious mind.
Not just words on repeat.
But something your system can see, hear, and feel.
Here's what that might look like:
Let’s say your affirmation is:
“I am exactly where I’m supposed to be.”
Okay… pause.
Now let your senses get involved.
What does that look like in your mind’s eye? Where are you? What are you doing? Who’s around you?
What do you hear? What are others saying to you? What are you saying to yourself?
What does it feel like in your body? Do you feel grounded, open, relaxed—or is there tension?
That tension? It’s not failure. It’s just feedback.
Your unconscious mind is saying, “I don’t quite believe this yet.”
So instead of forcing the affirmation harder…
Bring it closer to what your system can believe.
Add detail. Make it sensory. Anchor it in your body.
Let your brain experience it—not just hear it.
Because here’s the truth:
Your brain doesn’t change through words alone.
It changes through experience.
And when you help your system experience the affirmation as real—
Even for just a moment—
That’s when things start to shift.
That’s when your brain says:
“Okay… this feels familiar now. Maybe we can believe this.”
So no—this isn’t a contradiction.
Speaking in past tense for what you don’t want calms the survival brain.
Speaking in present or future tense for what you do want directs the growth brain.
But both require your unconscious mind to be on board for the change to actually stick.
And that’s what I help people do every day.
Your brain is listening.
To every word you say—especially the ones you say about yourself.
So if affirmations feel fake, forced, or frustrating…
Let’s help your brain hear something new.
👉 Book a session with me
Let’s get your words—and your wiring—working for you, not against you.
Your unconscious mind isn’t trying to sabotage you.
It’s just doing what it learned to do.
That’s why the work I do isn’t about surface-level mindset hacks.
It’s about rewiring the deeper patterns so that what you say to yourself can finally feel true.
You deserve a brain that believes in you.
—Helen
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