Getting Past Survivor

Finally Be The Real You

There comes a point when surviving just isn’t enough.

You’ve made it through the worst—but life still feels like a holding pattern. You’re not falling apart, but you’re not thriving either. That quiet sense that something more is possible? It’s not wishful thinking. It’s truth. And it’s what this space is all about.

Getting Past Survivor was born from that very moment—when I realized I was no longer in crisis, but far from feeling whole. I’d lived through childhood abuse, relentless bullying, and a marriage that drained me. I had done a lot of healing — but something was still missing. And deep down, I knew something better was possible. So I went looking for it.

In the years that followed, my healing was tested in ways I couldn’t have predicted—especially when I lost the love of my life at 54. It was another kind of survival. But even through that grief, the work I’d done helped me keep going. And now, I help others do the same.

This space is a blend of blog and voice. Every post can be read, and many include audio so you can listen right here or on my podcast. Take in the words however they land best for you.

You’ll find:
🧠 Brain-based tools—NLP, hypnosis, and unconscious rewiring that actually work
❤️‍🩹 Real talk on grief, growth, and healing (the non-linear kind)
🌱 The messy, beautiful journey to becoming you again
💬 Support from someone who gets it—not to fix you, but to walk with you

If you feel like there’s something beyond the pain—even if you can’t name it yet—you’re right. And you don’t have to get there alone.

To read more about my story: The Reason for Getting Past Survivor

Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

The Day I Didn’t Stay Silent

He counted on me staying quiet. But something in me had changed. Years ago, I might’ve frozen. This time, I found my voice—right there in the middle of the holiday crowd.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Are You Reacting to Life or Proactively Shaping It?

Do you feel like life is happening to you, leaving you scrambling to catch up? Living in reaction mode can be exhausting, driven by fear and the need to survive the moment. But what if you could step out of the cycle? What if you could purposefully create your life starting now?

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Love Starts with Self-Trust

Discover how true love starts with self-trust. Explore the role of trust and attachment in building relationships that last—beginning with trusting yourself first.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Healing from the Inside Out

For most of my life, food was my comfort, and weight was my shield. Losing 50 pounds felt like a victory, but as the pounds dropped, so did my sense of security. Looking good on the outside doesn’t heal the wounds you carry inside. Real change happens when you heal from within and learn to love yourself at every size. It’s not about the number on the scale—it’s about shedding the emotional weight that’s been holding you back.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Detaching from Attachment

Explore how attachment, as vital as food and oxygen, shapes our lives and emotions. From early unhealthy connections to the deep, mutual bond of true love, the journey of detaching from attachment can lead to profound healing and self-discovery. This reflection delves into the balance between honoring meaningful relationships and maintaining one's sense of self after loss.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

The One True Brain (and the Other Two "Brains" People Like to Talk About)

Explore the fascinating connection between the brain, heart, and gut—the three "brains" that influence your emotions, physical health, and overall well-being. Learn how these systems communicate with each other and how understanding this connection can help you improve mental clarity, emotional resilience, and even physical health.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Neuroplasticity: How to Rewire Your Brain for Growth

Neuroplasticity is the brain's ability to adapt and change, helping you build new neural pathways and strengthen cognitive flexibility. By engaging in activities like learning, physical exercise, mindfulness, and proper nutrition, you can enhance brain function, recover from emotional and physical injuries, and improve overall well-being. Discover how neuroplasticity supports growth, creativity, and emotional resilience, empowering you to thrive in all areas of life.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

The Brain-Body Connection

Our bodies respond to stress, pain, and emotions in ways that might seem mysterious, but it all comes down to the brain. Let's talk about the science behind how your brain controls every sensation through a complex network of communication pathways. Learn how to tap into this connection using visual, auditory, and sensory techniques to manage stress, reduce tension, and create lasting calm.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

I Knew What Love Was

In this follow-up blog, I dive deeper into the conflicting messages I received about love and intimacy, and how they shaped my beliefs. Growing up, I witnessed the powerful bond my parents shared through their 63-year marriage, but at the same time, I endured a childhood of sexual abuse, which distorted my sense of self-worth.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

A People Pleaser Reclaims Herself

For years, she carried the weight of others' expectations, always putting herself second. Raised in a home filled with guilt and shame, her need to please turned into perfectionism. But now, she’s letting go of those burdens and living for herself. Read her full story of transformation.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

The Little Things Matter

Micro-traumas—those small, often overlooked moments of hurt or rejection—can have a big impact on your emotional well-being. While they might seem insignificant at the time, these subtle experiences can accumulate over the years, shaping your self-esteem, relationships, and even your everyday decisions. It’s not just the big, life-changing events that leave a mark; the little things matter too.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

From Sexual Healing to True Connection

For years, I believed that my worth was tied to fulfilling others' needs. Marvin Gaye’s “Sexual Healing” echoed my experience of being used and discarded. But healing came when I opened up to real love—one built on genuine connection, not just physical needs. True intimacy is about mutual respect and deep emotional bonds.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Remember to Forget / Forget to Remember

Have you ever considered how much control you have over your own memories? The concepts of “remembering to forget” and “forgetting to remember” reveal that we can actively choose how we deal with our past and present experiences.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

15 Things You Can Be Okay With While Healing from Trauma

Healing is a personal journey, and it’s okay to experience various feelings and needs along the way. This blog explores 15 aspects of the healing process and offers sensory-focused tips to help you connect more deeply with yourself. Embrace each part of your journey with compassion and remember, support is always here if you need it.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Yawning

Ever wonder why you yawn during deep emotional moments? It's not boredom—it's your body signaling profound shifts, especially during trauma recovery. Discover how yawning helps transition your brain from tension to relaxation, and how it reflects deep work in your nervous system.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

You’ve Mastered Your Problems

Recognizing unconscious patterns developed from past experiences can greatly impact our daily lives. These ingrained behaviors often stem from childhood and can dictate our emotional and psychological responses as adults, sometimes in ways that no longer serve our current needs.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Your Mind Behind the Curtain

"Your Mind Behind the Curtain" offers a behind-the-scenes look at how I leverage NLP and hypnosis to catalyze change. Discover my approach to unlocking your unconscious, reshaping your experiences, and steering towards your fullest potential.

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Boost Your Self-Esteem: Transformative Tools for Positive Change

Explore the transformative journey of overcoming low self-esteem, guided by the concept of mindful debugging. Uncover the power of self-guided experiences through purposeful workbooks designed for personal growth. Discover tangible benefits and witness the transformative process that leads to a more empowered and resilient self and ultimately raise your self-esteem!

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Helen Brenner Helen Brenner

Understanding and Navigating Trauma: A Comprehensive Guide for Survivors and Their Loved Ones

The belief that "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" doesn't always hold true for trauma survivors. Trauma can lead to behaviors like excessive accommodation, tolerance of negativity, emotional clutter, quick forgiveness, and difficulty asserting oneself. Loved ones should encourage survivors to express needs, set boundaries, and be patient. Survivors may also face challenges in speaking up, excessive sensitivity, trust issues, and navigating relationships. The path to healing involves understanding these changes, fostering open communication, and providing support for a balanced and fulfilling life.

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